Two Sides of a Coin

I went to church on Sunday and it was a great mass. Being Catholic and faith is a really big part of my life and I think my parents for that. There will always be skeptics out there who will never understand the Catholic faith, or any faith or religion for that matter. I mean I don't even understand it all, but no one will ever really understand it completely. But I feel I understand it enough to know I am who I am because of the faith that I follow. Yes, there are some things I don't agree with, but you don't have to agree with EVERYTHING to be a certain religion. I pray everyday, I go to church every Sunday and I honestly wouldn't be where I am in life if it wasn't for my parents and the plan God as for me.

Back to the mass. It was the reading about the Prodigal Son. For those who aren't familiar with it:
Found in Luke 15:11-32. Jesus tells the story of a man who has two sons. The younger demands his share of his inheritance while his father is still living, and goes off to a distant country where he "waste[s] his substance with riotous living" and eventually has to take work as a swineherd (clearly a low point, since swine are unclean in Judaism). There he comes to his senses and decides to return home and throw himself on his father's mercy, thinking that even if his father does disown him, being one of his servants is still far better than feeding pigs. But when he returns home, his father greets him with open arms and hardly gives him a chance to express his repentance. He kills a fatted calf to celebrate his return. The older brother resents the favored treatment of his faithless brother and complains of the lack of reward for his own faithfulness. But the father responds:
" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'

The father asks us to ask our selves who do we think we are in the story. The Prodigal Son, The older son or the Father. He says that many say the are like the Father. I saw my self as the older son (who hasn't?) at times and the Father. But seeing yourself as the father requirers two things: love and forgiveness. Then he asks us to think about two sides of a coin: heads and tails. You can't have a coin with out those two elements. The head and tail are permanently bonded together to make a coin.

To truly love a person you must be able to forgive, to truly forgive someone you must love that person. Without one or the other, it's like a coin, it just doesn't work. It really rang true to me and got me thinking, especially with our wedding coming up.

My whole life, I have tried really hard not to have any regrets (I've accomplished that! I honestly don't have any regrets), love everyone, treat people the way I would like to be treated, dream big and don't stop dreaming (thanks mom and dad!), be a great daughter, sister and friend, a good wife and mother (when that time comes) and love and forgive. I feel like I have done really well in my quest in life so far.

Our wedding marks a different chapter of our life. I know for a fact, that you definitely can't have a strong or healthy marriage if you don't love (obviously) and forgive the one you are going to spend the rest of your life with. I am happy to say that Chris and I have had some small bumps along the way but nothing that hasn't made us stronger. I know our love is strong enough to survive anything, especially since we are able to forgive each other. Our marriage will be a testament to that and our commitment to each other. If we have any doubts, we talk; we have any problems, we work them out. I don't think I have been as excited as I am to celebrate something in my life than I am to start my new life with Chris.

Another thing that I think really helps us, it that fact that both of our parents are still happily married (mine are going strong for 28 years; his are going strong for 33 years). We both know what it takes to make a marriage works, and that is a true testament to how our parents raised us. I can only hope Chris and I are half as happy as our parents are.

Chris and I will be bonded together: through love and forgiveness; happy and sad times; sickness and health; the unknown and confusion; strength and weakness; and so much more. But with one, comes the other (even if it's not right away, it will be coming shortly). You can't truly be happy if you don't know what sadness is; you can't have love if you've never had your heart broken. God will test us along the way, but I know we have the knowledge, strength, forgiveness, trust and love to get through anything together.

Some great advice I have received on our journey to get married (I ask everyone and anyone I meet who has been married, divorced etc to give me their advice) is that communication is key (thanks mom and dad!) and that we should be very familiar with five phrases:
1. I love you
2. I need you
3. I want you
4. I forgive you
5. I'm sorry

That's the great thing about a marriage, it's a relationship. A marriage can't start with out a great relationship or foundation. Chris and I have both and (like always) I can't wait to see what God has planned for us next.